I would be lying if I said
I wasn’t relieved that P isn’t around anymore. I finally have my room and own
space back. But I would also be lying if I said I didn’t miss her. P had really
become like one of the family, so much so that it’s weird not seeing her around
every day… it’s like something’s incomplete or missing. And it’s not just me
who feels this way, Ma, Pa, A and L can sense the weight of her absence too.
It’s no secret that my
friendship with P had quite the rocky start. I didn’t trust her, she didn’t
like me, but eventually we found a way back to each other and made our
friendship work. And like all friendships, we had our ups and downs but in the
end, as friends, we always came back to each other. So why is this situation any different? Why couldn’t
we have just talked things through and come to a solution like we always do?
I’m sure her feelings were
real, but what future could there be with a happily married man? All I wanted
to do was nudge her in the right direction, and save her from inevitable
rejection and pain! I still believe what I did was for her good, and it’s
disappointing that P can’t see that.
It’s such a shame that
despite everything P and I have been through together, she just gave up and
left. Does this mean our friendship is over forever? Will I ever even see her
again? Is she okay? Questions like these run on loop in my mind 24/7, and it’s
driving me crazy!
It’s so frustrating to have
these unanswered questions and one-sided conversations. Maybe what I need is
some sort of closure, but somehow I still can’t make sense of her leaving. I
really hope one day P can understand why I did what I did, and find it in
herself to come back.
Until next time,
Xoxo Fru Fru Shru
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