So it happened, as much as
I didn’t want things to end the way they did… it’s officially over between S
and I. I feel a lot of different ways these days. Various emotions sweep over
me like waves, but just as hard as they hit, they pull away from my mind too.
I have to say though,
probably the most horrible feeling is when I catch myself wondering whether I
really was selfish and self-absorbed in our relationship like S said. And honestly,
I detest the fact that his words have me doubting myself… ‘cause I can’t help
but feel I deserve to be treated better! So I’m beginning to think whether S
really ever knew the real me at all.
If I’m being truthful about
what our relationship was like, I realise how emotionally clogged up I felt
most of the time. In such a sensitive and fragile time in my life, I was unable
to share my true feelings with my own boyfriend – and that’s just not right!
My decision to end things
was also influenced by what T said to me at TCH one afternoon: that I don’t
need to change who I am to accommodate S. It seems SO simple in hindsight, but
somehow I was blind to this fact before.
Of all the feelings sweeping
over me these days, now that I’ve finally ended things with S, what I mostly
feel is… relief. As difficult as all break-ups are, I know in my heart it was
the right thing to do, and that’s a liberating feeling.
Girls, I’m sure some of you
have been through similar situations and relationships that didn’t work out.
All I can say is, learn from them, and stay strong!
Until next time…
Xoxo Fru Fru Shru
0 comments